thank you God bringing me to Liberty University
thank you for letting me be in a country where i can worhsip you freely
thank you for letting me b in a country where i can feel convenient with saying that i'm a Christian and to read your Bible
thank you for my family for they support me and love
thank you for my friends that i have for i learn from them and learn how to love others
thank you for my pain for i learned how to be a strong man and it made me wise
thank you for allowing me to live today
thank you for saving my soul Lord
thank you for education
thank you for love
thank you for everything
i thank you God for my first semester of college being awesome and if it is your will for me to have more semester of college at liberty i hope they are awesome too.

my first semester of college was pretty well. i made new friends. i learned about worldviews and just a whole bunch of other cool stuff in GNED like logical fallacies. english class taught me to write better essays in which more logical coherence vocabulary usage and all of that jazz. my math class wasn't a waste of time which i thoguht it was. it was a good time to brush up on the things i need to know to excel int he upper math classes that await me. i met a lot of good people here. it helped me to get a vision of what i want to do with my life.

it's funny how people try to justify something wrong. for example a friend of mine smokes and as he decided to quit he said that he was going to keep his lighter so that if someone else needed it to smoke. so i said why would u help someone to smoke when you're quitting because you know that it's unhealthy. basically, he defended himself by saying that he's looking out for that person because they need something. i mean yeah that's good to look out for people but is it for a good end. looking out for someone to inhale chemicals into their body and damage theirs lungs and everything in their body their brain isn't right. also the other night this same friend threw a bottle at our other friend's car because someone in that car threw a bottle at his car of course. even though they did it first it doesn't justify that act by doing it back when it was wrong in the first place. and i explained this to him, and he still tried to justify it. o well, i just do my best to be in honest and speak what's right and if they don't understand or agree i leave it up to God.

today i had my math 100 final exam. it was EASY! i think i got a 95 or higher. there were a few things that i wasn't sure about. also i had my new testament bible class final exam. it was an open book exam. even though it was open book i didn't get an A on it. i hated flipping through the book looking for all of the answers so i just guessed or use common sense to on some of the questions. i did my laundry today. i was scared for a second doing my laundry because before i put my hands on my colored clothes i thought i had clorox on my fingers and i wasn't sure if i did or not so i thoguth my colored clothes were gonig to come out bleached thank God that it didn't. i bleached two hoodies and a nice ralph lauren shirt already. i bleahed the ralph lauren shirt like two weeks after i got it i was aaaaaanngry. oh well ddong happens so you can learn from them. i also sold back some of my books. i'm really tempted to sell back my english books but i also want to keep them because i may need them in the future.

before i went to sleep last night i spoke with a friend and a prayer leader in my room. We talked about my questioning of why God allows people to go to Hell and about all of our temjptations and stuff. I'm saved but sometimes i doubt it so at the end of the conversation i prayed the prayer to be saved. with the friend i talked with last night, he always encourages me. he makes me want to take action on the crossroad that i am and attempt to walk the road with Jesus. neways..i have a math 100 exam at 1030 am which i'm really prepared for and i didn't study tha tmcuh for it and then i have my Bible exam at 1:00 pm.

how do you tell your own friend a good friend that he is annoying. or maybe i just get irritated easily which i think is kind of true. neway today i woke up had breakfast and came back and took a like 3 hour nap which i didn't intend on doing but since i have a runny nose and a sore throat my body needed more rest. i studied for english and math today and a little for my bible class, new testament with dr. towns. my Bible exam is oben book. i studied a lil bit or in other words read through a book for my Bible class to know where i need to go to to find an answer during the exam. the exam isn't even that long i think it's just about 40 questions. i didn't learn that much in my Bible class it is kind of my fault because if i truly wanted to learn iw ouldn't done it myself but i think the professor for the Bible class that i'm in should find a different kind of teaching method. the time of the day for that class wasn't good for me too. it was from 2 o'clock to three fifteen. so yeah i was up for about almost 6-7 hours already with about 6 hours of sleep so i got sleepy in that class all of the time.

i went to church this morning. it was Dr. Town's sunday school. The lesson was about the seven "I am"s in the gospel of John. i forgot a lot about the lesson because i was thinking about a girl that was sitting a row ahead of me. she was so pretty. i was thinking if i should go up to her and ask her if i could sit with her or i should try to catch up with her after the service and introduce myself and just talk with her. she's so pretty! after the service she walked out pretty quickly and i thought i could still bump into her outside for both of us were there to get extra credit and with the notes we fill out for extra credit we have to take a to a desk so that's what i mean when i thoguht iwas oging to bump into her it hoguth i would see her there but I DIDN"T. oh well. i've been seeing her once in awhile on campus. she's been giving me that eye-contact. i'm going to try to talk to her the next time i see her.

i was eating lunch alone today and someone from my dorm came up to me and started telling me like being alone isn't healthy for you and people that spend their lives alone die 7 years early. he was taking it too seriously from the fact that i was eating alone. i do like to be alone because when you're with other people you have to put up with wat they want to do and sometimes or many times it conflicts with wat you want to do so i like to be by myself a lot to have that peace of doing what i want to do. i would hate to spend the rest of my life alone, but hey if that's how it's going to be that's how it's going to be then; however, i desire a wife and children.

tonight

i was going to get two tatoos tonight but it cost too much. i want seoul korea across my chest in an underarc and my mom's and dad's name in cursive on my left peck. i thought this would be around two hundred dollars, but it cost around three hundred and eight dollars so i didn't do it. i also want my last name, LEWIS, across my belly i think that would be around six hundred dollars. the price for tatoos are ridiculous. with all of that money i can buy a ps3. however a ps3 is a waste of money also. speaking of PS3s, i'm addicted to playing the game Resistance: Fall of Man on it. i played it for awhile with my friend and I tonight after going to the tatoo store. we played it had fun and just chilled. and now i'm bought to watch a movie with my roommates. talk to ya tomrorow. PEACE

sprained my ankle

i sprained my ankle today. It hurt a lot. I was running and it was dark so i couldn't see the uneven ground and parts of trees that were sticking out the ground so my ankle twisted on one of the uneven places. i got a knee surgery about a year and 3 months ago because i tore my ACL, which sucked i couldn't play my senior of basketball and i haven't played basketball with 100% strength in my knee yet. however wen i did sprain my ankle today, before that i was like sprinting pretty well faster that i usually do so i see that my knee is getting a lot stronger. i just need to start jumping off it soon. well usually wen i sprain my ankle i need crutches or something but i guess because i havne't sprained my ankle in so long my ligaments and tissue were really strong in my foot and ankle so it didn't hurt that much. i can walk well on myh ankle i just have a little limp.

why did God let humans get in the way of his Truth? There's so many religions that millions of people believe in. many people die without hearing the gospel. due to this, it's hard for me and i'm sure for other people to believe that God is working. i dont have doubt in God though, and not in Christianity, for I am a Christian. It's just that i have many unanswered questions that makes me not want to live for God. sometimes i wonder if i'll do this my whole life, live it by myself and not ever having an awesome relationship with God. i certainly don't want that to happen, so when is God going to embrace my heart and make us close? that's another thing! God won't do that, it's up to me if i want a close, intimate relationship with God. that just makes it so hard, my sinful nature which i'm like intensely, extemely controlled by tells me not to.

if a place in Heaven dependend on works, everyone would go to Heaven cuz' everyone can do a good work. However, it's not that simple. You have to come to a decision to give your life up, deny yourself, and give your life to Jesus Christ. That put it into a whole different perspective. Not everyone will be willing to deny themselves, and believe in Jesus Christ. What i don't comprehend is is that a person that's not saved but is good, unselfish, righteous, nice, and graceful as a Christian won't go to Heaven. The only way to go to Heaven is through belief in Jesus Christ. Just because that innocent person didn't believe in Jesus Christ but a Christian (saved person) was maybe just as wrong as that unsaved person will still go to Heaven. oh well it all goes back to the Truth, Jesus said Himself that not everyone will go to Heaven, the way is narrow and not many people will go through it.

Today i went to the post office today to pick up the red sweater and blue jeans that i ordered from American Eagle. I'm satisfied that i got them now because i thought they would get here by the time i left back home to Seoul. I studied for my math exam which is on tuesday. I think i'm going to do well on that exam. i'm bout to go eat and when i come back to my dorm, i'm going to study for my english exam. I also exercised today, i was on the bike machine thing for about ten-fifteen minutes. and then i worked out on my abs. I'm eating a lot healthier now and some my abs are starting to become visisible. I bought some expensive stuff at GNC yesterday. I boguht muscle milk, amino acids, and a multivitamin thing. it was really expensive, so it better work.

if i truly feared God, i wouln't try to disobey Him; however, i choose to break His laws with no repentance, therefore i don't fear Him. I do fear God in to a certain extent though. I know that God is omnipotent and omniscient. God can do whatever he wants except sin. He can end my life right now. I have more pride in me than God, and I think that's why i dont pray and try to live my life the way i want to. If life's purpose is to be in a relationship with God and totally live for him, everyone who is living for themselves or not to that purpose are wasting their lives. that's one thing i dont want to do, waste my life. LIVING FOR God IS SO HARD THOUGH! not even that i don't even want to so how do i can i attempt it again.

what is love? Is love just an emotion? what does love mean? Love is a crazy thing but i think love is just simply defined as caring about someone else. God sacrificed His Son Jesus for us because he cares about us He wants us to be in Heaven with Him for eternity because of his care for us He loves us. My mom calls me feeds me gives me money because she cares or loves me. Parents discipline their children out of love. They don't want them to continue doing wrong, because they love them to do what's right. i'm going to start asking others what they of what love is. I've also learned that love is doing the best for someone and that's also caring abotu someone else. If you care for someone else, you want to help them and be there for them and want and do the best for him or her.

Heart of Champion

I love the thought of having the heart of a Champion. It's so hard to be Christ-like though, so hard i don't even want to attempt it. many time i feel like God leave me on my own to do walk the Christian life too. So what i do is i pray for help and if i dont see any changes, i just live life the way i want to. i'm torn in between the two of a sinful life and the desire to live for God. My mind is so messed up, because i'm kind of serving two master and YOU CAN"T DO THAT. Jesus says it Himself. Jerry Falwell seems like an awesome God-fearing guy. I'm blessed to have a God that works in people to make them want to start a school such as Liberty University. I'm glad that i'm here. The education is great and if you want to be a Christian that can defend his or her faith, it's a great place and one of the best places to increase your relationship with God. There's a lot of awesome people here but the same as everywhere else there's some people that i kind of loathe.

continuation of Revelation

HOWEVER i should be happy about Jesus coming back. So the Bible can be proven by sight and Jesus can start his reign so a new world can start and all of that good stuff, but i recognized that i'm too selfish to be happy about that because even when some good happening for everybody i'm still thinking about my own little wants and stuff. I know that God understand me, but wants me to totally surrender my life to Him so i can live it to the fullest in Him until I die or Jesus returns. I tried reading Revelation and I didn't understand that much, but taht was awhile ago i matured a little so if i do read it now i think i might comprehend a little more plus with God's help and others' thoughts about it too.

Revelation

yesterday in Bible class, dr. towns was talking about the book of Revelation. I was getting scared during this class period, because i was jsut thinking what if Jesus came back right now, today, or tomorrow or next week. i know that that is the ultimate joy for Christians, but me personally i know or in better words i want to enjoy the good earthly things too like marriage and family and the career that i want. I was also thinking about what if Jesus didn't come back like now or soon and i had children and Jesus came back during the infant life of my children; i didn't feel that happy about that either. I want my children to explore the good life on earth too, it's just something about it. I'm certain that Heaven is like waaay better i mean i can't even measure how much better it is then the good stuff on earth, but iw ould want my children to have love family marriage play sports get an education too.

Tatoos

I really want tatoos; however i think they are wrong. Especially in my case. I want to get a tatoo of my dad's name on my chest and he passed away. The Bible says to not get writings on your body of the dead. My reasoning of tatoos being wrong is that you should only spend money on things that you need such as food, clothes, and family, education, shelter and the necessities. I think it'll look good though. Some girls are attracted to guys with tattoos, but if a girl is attracted to me because of my tatoos id ont want anything to do with her beccause that shows her shallowness. maybe if i get a lot of money, i'll get tatoos. but if i get a lot money i'll still be obliged to spend money on neccessities or share more of it, for the well-being of others matter more about my appearance.

convo was awesome today. I think the speaker's name was Scott Anderson. I have a lot of respect for Mr. Anderson, for he has alot of courage to talk in front of a multitude of people with his different way of speaking. His message was to whatever worries and fears you have, give it to God. Drop it and let God take care of it. I have worries and fears. I worry about not getting a job after i graduate from college. I worry about finances. I worry about not getting married or firstly not getting a girlfriend. I fear wasting my life. but how in the heck do i drop all of that and let God take care of it. I'm still going to have to do something. I feel i dont even drop it and let God take care of it because i'm still doing the work...o well God knows my heart and yeah He does what He wants to do.

If i dont get a job during winter break which i highly doubt, i'm going to try to read two books. Firstly i want to finish the book, God the Evidence and part 5, the voyage of the dawn treader, of the Chronicles of Narnia. i'm going to face MANY MANY MANY temptations when i go back home. Lord's strength can only help me flee from those, because i won't be able to do it on my own. i really hope i get a job though. There's a preschool right downstairs of my mother's apartment, so i'm going to try to get some kind of job there. I'm not just concerned of getting money, but i want to help my mom with paying for my college stuff. With the money that i get if i get a job, i'm going to buy my school books with it. And if i have left overs, i'm going to buy clothes. well, the night is still young i'm going to study some math, and then go play pool with my good friend at the LaHaye Student Center. And yeah i'll come back to my dorm, shower, watch a movie, and sleep.

I'm reading God the Evidence- The reconciliation of Faith and Reason in a Postsecular World by Patrick Glynn. I've read only read one chapter and a half, but i like it a lot. I learned about some people that influence the world with their philosophies of science. I learned that precise things occured in order for humanity to be produced and for the universe to be created and function correctly such as: if the nuclear weak force had been slightly weaker than it s, all of the hydrogen in the universe would have been turned to helium in(making water impossible, for example). And if there was no water, humans couldn't live for as long as they do and everything would be screwed up because we rely on water for many things.

Working out today

Today i was on the mechanical bike for about 15 minutes and i worked myself fairly hard on it. i could've worked a lot harder. I worked out on my abs too. Abs are always tough for me, because i barely worked out on them ever. I'm producing hard abs though slowly. I need to eat healthier so that i can lose body fat so my abs will be more visible. I'm getting more serious with my weight lifting and physical goals and it's helping me quit my sins. I shot around a little bit with a friend of mine and played ping pong too. both exercises were tedious. ping pong was a lot of fun because the friend i play with is always competitive. it was a good game because he was always about 4-6 points ahead and when it was 19 to 11 i caught up a lot to 20 to 18 and then he won 21 18. i learned from my mistakes though and simple things like make sure to always hit the ball over the net and don't hit the ball with too much power.

I went to Sunday school this morning. I didn't go to Sunday school to get closer to God though, i went solely for extra credit in my bible class. If the Lord is willing, i'll go next sunday with the right heart and get 90% on a quiz. Today i'm just going to exercise eat and do laundry study for math and do some more blogs and review my essay. If i'm not lazy and if i'm willing i'll pray and read the Bible. I've been having troubles with that; I just simply dont want to do it.

Thank you God

God,
thank you for giving me today
thank you for giving me food
thank you for giving me clothes
thank you for giving me money
thank you for giving me a family
thank you for giving me friends
thank you for giving me education
thank you for disciplining me
thank you for blessing me
thank you for loving me
thank you for my past
thank you for my pain
Thank you for always knowing the best thing to do and how things work out for the best for your children. You are awesome. Thank you for everything. Most importantly, thank you for giving the world your Son Jesus to die on the cross for our sins. Thank you.

my friends and i went to the mall last night. I saw a lot of shoes i liked. Especially the Chuck Taylor's shoes. I think i'm going to get the black and blue ones sometime soon. i gotta see how they look on me first though. One thing i liked about the mall last night is that there were some prety girls there, and one of them was looking at me but i didn't have the gux to go talk to her and this happens so many times at school; I need more confidence. Oh well, there'll be more times in the future hopefully, if the God's willing. Also what was funny, a girl smacked my butt twice. first i was bending over looking at chains and then she smacked my butt as she was walking by and she was laughing with her friends. And the second and fortunately the last time as i was walking out wiht my friends we passed her on the bench, and she smacked my butt again. i was like wat the heck. i mean i'm not offended just how does she have the audacity to do that to a complete stranger. she looked like she was 15 years old though so that says a lot haha. neway..

when some people get depressed, they become self-destructive. i'm one of those some people. if i'm sad i wouldn't even try to cheer myself up i like multiply it by sin and listenin'g to depressing music. In addition, all of that just takes me further and further away from God. i dont know if i'm right about this, i might just be rushing to a conclusion; however, last night my friend was acting a little weird( he became from talkative to untalkative and sad). and just something that was going on seemed like he was depressed. but later towards the night luckily one of his friends from home called him and i think that's when he actually cheered up.

this argumentative essay is arduous. especially the part when we have to make up a story for the emotional part. im not good with coming up with stories; i'm gonna have to put up a lot of effort when i do that. i have to admit though, mrs. greene is challenging me a lot with these formats of essays that we've been assigned to type up. in high school you dont really have to follow a certain criterion except for the basic like intro, body, and conclusion. it's more complex in college :S. this is our last essay i must do the best i can on it. the highest grade i got on a writing assignment in english 100 was an 82. i'm going to shoot for a 90 or above on this last writing assignment. i have this weekend and monday to work on it, so i think i can do it. i hope Tia emails me back soon so we can meet and she can help me with my essay too.

I wish people still made music similar to Guy, Zapp & Roger, Michael Jackson, and Lynard Skynard or somethin. i like those old groups and singers a lot. I have more respect for them than today's groups and singers for they influenced today's singers. Especially Michael Jackson, he influenced many singers today such as the young Chris Brown you know the one who sang the hit "Run It" and "Kiss Kiss." I really like that song I like by the young group Guy. I first heard it in the movie Love and Basketball. It has good lyrics and it's just a really good song to groove to. Lynard Skynard ofcourse with his song Simple Man, and Free Bird. Simple Man is about how his mother told him to not seek riches but to seek love and the simple, good things in life. I'ts a really good song.

today's convo: don't quit

i dont know the man's name that spoke at convocation today, but i think God used him in the right time with the right message. It's near the end of the fall 07 semester, final exams are coming up, and i'm sure people are being tempted to just quit. However, the message was to persevere through struggles and to not quit. He gave examples such as Joseph and Abraham Lincoln. A lady tried to seduce Joseph, but Joseph replied no. The lady lied to her husband and said that Joseph raped her, and he was put into prison. Joseph didn't worry that much and wasn't that upset, he realized he can't change the past and looked forward to the future and chose to persevere. Abraham Lincoln was deafted from the senate and congress many times since his early 20s and he finally became president at the age of 51; that's true perseverance. I must persevere and have a desire to not quit just like these two men. May God give me the strength tod o it, because i dont want to quit school quit on love life or anything.

Peer Evaluation

It's kind of hard to write about my peer evaluation, because my peer evaluation didn't help me that much. Her name is Rebekah. I guess she didn't give me that much advice because my outline was good, according to what she said. She just told me to get rid of the personal pronouns. She encouraged me I guess. I evaluated Nathan's outline. Mrs. Greene's comments were more specific than mine. Mrs. G told Nathan that he needs to be more specific and gave him specific details in which he can use. That's something I need to start doing.

tonight i watched half of the Liberty vs. Longwood Bball game. Liberty's Bball team is quite good and has a lot of potential. They are an exciting team to watch. One play one of the guards had the ball at the top of the key, i think it was Jenkins and Mcneal ran around the paint as Jenkins stood up top; Jenkins lobs the ball up for an ally-oop and McNeal dunks it. That was an exciting play, a lot of people in the stands stood up and cheered. Watching them play, makes me want to play again, however i'm a little disqualified too because i'm my knee surgery. wow i just noticed them it happens all the time and i didn't notice it 'till now. When you can see someone truly love something or doing something very well, you feel the same way about it and want to do the samething. Watching Liberty's Men's Bball team made me want to play because they were playing really well, hard, with teamwork, and fervor. My friend read the poem that's going to be put into a book and that made him want to write a poem; in addition, he used to write many many great poems when he did used to write.

my poem

i submitted a poem on poetry.com and they are going to put it into one of the poetry books they're publishing. not only that, they are giving me a chance to win a free ipod if i get 20 people to vote for my poem. i think i have five rite now and i know that i'll get 20 or more. if i get that free ipod, i'm going to sell it and save half of it and spend the rest. is hould save all of it, but i'm going to need some spending money wen i go home. it felt kind of good how my friends complimented my poem and stuff. i wonder though why don't some people give feedback on the not so good things. because the good stuff about my poem is already good so by giving me feedback it's kind of unneccessary because i'm always going to try to do good so that good stuff will be expected. however, some people should give feedback on what was not so good so that him or her could work on their no so good habits.

i went to the hospital yesterday, and it everything's all good i think. I dont have an pain in my kidneys the doctor said, but it's muscle tension that's giving me pain in that area. She knows this from examining my urine. And it seems to be that my skin infection is normal and all i have to do is put some cream on it and it'll go away. I have to keep my body dry so that the fungus won't inflame and increase. I had to buy two tubes of cream which cost $25 and some change. that sucks. I hope i dont spend ne more money here until i go home, because i'm cutting into my savings right now.

11 more school days and 17 days in total (school days and weekends) until my first semester of college is over. i can't wait to go back home to Seoul. My friends and I are excited to go back home and chill with each other. I haven't seen one of my friends for a year that's going back to Seoul the same time I am. It's going to be TIGHT! and i'm excited to visit my high school and just say hello to everyone and catch up with my friends and teachers. I'll spend time with my mom, and try to be an honoring son. i can't wait to eat the food also. i have been eating korean noodles here once awhile but that's just an appetizer to what the good food is in Korea. I can't wait to eat Samgyupsal, Duen JJang Jjigae, Soondubujjigae, and all that other good stuff.

Over the Hedge

I watched the movie Over the Hedge last night and it was really good. I like how a lot of animated movies are like basically fables, which means that they are meant to teach you something. What we can learn from the movie Over the Hedge is the value of family. There are other virtues that can be learned like honesty and leadership. If RJ was honest to others in the beginning, they wouldn't have gone through some troubles such as almost getting destroyed by the exterminator guy. However, the fact that RJ got them to do all of those things and lead them into struggles, made them a stronger family. Vern and RJ have opposite methods of leadership, which comes from their personality. Vern is cautious and strict, and RJ is risk-taking and free.

i'm going to the hospital today. i need a check up on my skin infection. I need to get my kidneys checked out. i've been having pain in my kidneys for 4 years now, and i've never gotten it checked out. I know i must do it now before it's too late. i hope everything goes fine. i just want to take some medicine to fix the problem. and i hope my skin infection can be cleared up as soon as possible....God may your will be done through this.

Road to Perdition

This movie is absolutely one of my favorite movies; i just watched it tonight. Tom Hanks stars in it. He's a hitman for a mafia in the movie and also a father. His oldest son, 12 year old michael, saw his dad, Tom Hanks( character name Michael Sullivan), and his partner kill three people. Michael sullivan and his partner found out that micahel's son saw them kill the threey, people. Mr. Sullivan's partner killed Sullivan's youngest son and mother, and attempted to have Mr. sullivan and michael jr. killed. Mr. Sullivan and michael jr. runs away to chicago to get help from a powerful mafiaman, but he told Mr. Sullivan that he was on his own. Mr. Sullivan and michael jr. robbed banks to survive. Ultimately, mr. sullivan kills the people that worked for the mafia that he worked for, the mafia boss, his partner that killed his family. Mr. sullivan was shot and killed but before he died, he killed the person that shot him. Throughout this whole movie, the suspense grasps you and the perseverance they had to survive and to avenge connects you with the movie. This movie is awesome. It's a sad movie. It teaches you a few things. It taught me that you must take care of your family. It taught me that the ones that may be so close to you, can easily turn against you from the effects of various circumstances. and many of other things that i'm too tired to talk about.

provocative clothing

i'm not going to lie i love to see a sexy woman in sexy clothing. however, i know that provocative clothing is wrong, because it increases my lust and it makes me think of a woman in a impure way(imagine her naked) in other words. Jesus says when u have lust in your heart you're commiting adultery. One of the ten commandments is to not commit adultery. and this same response from a woman wearing provocative clothing is from every man. it may not be on the same level as mine, but it still stimulates them on some level and in some way. i would like for woman to wear that clothing, because i'm not going to lie it looks good but it causes me and many others to sin, so i dont know. i and people like me should change ourselves and woman that dress like that continue doing it. However, because of our culture and how we interpret things woman shouldn't dress like that at all. I mean a fearing, Christian woman may dress provocatively, but that'll put an incorrect image on her. Some may think that she's a prostitute or a promiscuous woman. So...therefore, men that are stimulate by provocative clothing should try to change their heart about it and woman should not dress provocatively.

an individual that's 18 years of age or older should be able to get his or driver's license and being held to obtain a permit for any period of time. i'm upset that in virginia an 18 year old has to hold a permit for 9 months and then get his or her license. NINE MONTHS! why so long? that's ridiculous. one can get excellent driving experience within a month. and within those nine months you have to take a driver's education program. how can 18 years olds in my situation take that program while they're going to college. however, life is always complicated.

waiting until marriage to have sex or kiss

waiting until marriage to have sex or kiss. i didn't really concern this when i first heard it, because i kissed already but the sex part was bugged me. i mean i don't know if i'll get married when i'm 20 or 35 ya know...that's scary. that was how i thought about it when i first heard to do that in which i think i was 15 or 16. i've broken that rule of God when i was 17, which i regret. i regret it because i wasn't being wise and responsible of giving my wife a pure body. And before i get married i have to tell the woman i'm going to marry that i'm not a virgin, i dont know if it'll will hurt her or not but i hope it doesn't.

gun control

i dont think there should be stores where you can freely purchase a gun. we all know that it' snot the guns that kill people, but it's the people that's killing other people. Hence, it would help immensely if we didn't have stores that sold guns. Ultimately, we would have to change the amendment that says that one has the right to bear arms. I wouldn't mind if we changed that amendment, maybe we should change it to make it illegal for one to bear arms. However, if that happened, people would most likely not be able to protect themselves from ones that illegally carry guns. inspite of that less people would be murdered by people using guns if we werne't be able to purchase guns freely

i'm very anxious to get my driver's license and a car. From the looks of it i wont be driving until next fall semester. I dont want to wait but i have to....it sucks that i or my mom has to pay 300 dollars to have my car on campus a semester!!! i want a jetta, corolla, neon, or lancer. i hope i can get either of those for under 14 thousand dollars. i'm going to do my best save up as much money as i can to help my mom pay for it. i want to pay for some of my own car too. and after the downpayment, if the each monthly payment is quite low, i'll pay each one off myself with the job i hopefully have. if i do have a car next fall semester i'm going to visit my family in danville many times, visit my two friends and penn state, and go to my brother's house for thanksgiving in tennessee.

if i got a million dollars i would give as much as my mom wanted to her. buy my aunt and uncles new cars, for theirs aren't in good condition. buy my uncle a house. i would give money to help starving children and to charities. i would help out my cousins, friends, and siblings. I would give to my high school.
i think a lot of money creates a lot of problems though. i'm not saying that giving money to your family and friends is a problem it's just that you wouldn't have as much as of the same obligation if you dind't have a lot of money. you would have to pay more taxes because you have more money.but the ability to do the good things with money overshadows the cons of having a lot of money.

thanksgiving break

thanksgiving break was good. i got to just relax and get closer with my family. i went to danville, virginia where my dad's family is. I stayed with my aunt for a few nights and my uncle most of the time. i love my uncle. he's really cool, laid back, and funny and i learn some things from him. He's my dad's twin brother also. I hung out with my cousin and his friends. We just stayed up and played video games. i stayed up to about 3-4 am every morning just watching tv. i liked watching tv, for i dont have one in my dorm. i enjoyed wathcing BET, the show House of Payne, and different movies that were on. oh yeah i watched Friends too. Thanksgiving dinner was awesome. i loved the macaroni and cheese and stuffing. The yams were awesome. i wish i could've brought a plate back to school, but i didn't want to seem greedy. however i did waste a lot of food. i ate a plate and then filled my plate and ate a third of that second plate. my aunt said it was okay, but one of my cousins didn't like it i think..."sorry." my thanksgiving break was awesome.

i went to a secular school one weekend about a month ago maybe, and i noticed a few differences from that school and mine, which is a Christian school. At the school in the dorms were parties with alcohol and there were boys and girls in there. There was one guy in the dorm hallway that was really drunk; he was clumsy, annoying everyone, and talking crap. As i left the next day, I evaluated all of these cons of this school, and i realized that i was blessed for going to school that i'm going to. I'm glad that there aren't people walking around in my hallway drunk and starting fights with people. It does suck that we can't have girls in our dorms, but i understand the reason why. The reason why we can't have girls in our dorms is because we, as young men, may not be able to overcome the temptation to fornicate. If we do fornicate, it's wrong in God's eyes, and we would want to do it moer and more. If we could have alcohol in our dorms and girls, our dorms would be full of fornication and drunken people. I'm blessed to be at a Christian school for its rules help me to live by God's will.

Pornography? it's disgusting, yet since some people are so disgusting we are able to watch it, and obviously people are disgusting enough to engage in it. what's wrong with it? first of all most of the time the people that are having sex in pornography are fornicating, and God says to not fornicate. Our nation has made it a freedom to have sex, record it, and distribute the recorded sex. We have no shame. And the ones that watch it don't make it any better. One may watch it satisfy his or her lust, but ultimately pornography just makes it worse. You're going to want it more eventually, that's the case mostly. Pornography could exacerbate a marriage. A man that constantly watched pornography in his youth can possibly give his marriage a hard time with himself. Because not only has he saw his wife naked and in a sexy way, he has seen many other women in the same way. And that fact can mar a marriage.

Sleep

i want to go back to my dorm and sleep. i would like to eat before i went back to sleep tho..i'm really hungry..i love sleeping..during those 6-8 hours you don't have to do anything move or think..just let ur body do it's job..you dont have any worries no pain nothing. just resting your mind and body. i dont know where the term "rest in peace" was derived from, but i think it's from that idea that when your dead there's no more pain and no more worries, just peace.

what she be a man's motives for desiring to date a girl? Her physique? her personality? her beliefs? her finances? her lifestyle? i think all of those factors should be considered on deciding to date a girl; however, one or more will outweigh some other ones. for me, her physique and personality will outweigh her finances or beliefs. i know it's sad but i'm working on it. one thing i noticed bout myself is i dont have many girl friends. the only time i had a relationship with a girl was when i was going out with her.you may think our dating relationship was bad, but it wasn't. i adapt easily so that may have been a pro of that situation. but yeah maybe God is telling me to start off with friendship and then go into a dating relationship than jumping right into dating....

my friend and i last night had a discussion. he thought that even though you are saved and if you dont ask for forgiveness of your sins after you're saved, you'll go to hell. i was explaining to him that once we are saved, we are all saved. I mean the key word is 'saved'. saved from the wages of sin, because Jesus paid it for us. I showed him the verse John 10:29 in which Jesus is saying God the Father gave him his sheep and they'll never be snatched out of his hand. I think that verse supports the facts that once saved always saves. We can't lose our salvation. Even after i showed him that verse, for a minute he still didn't believe it. and then he said later that he believed it.i learned a few things forom last night. 1. it's a lot harder to prove a concept to someone without physical evidence. 2. one's arrogance can prevent him or her from accepting the truth. 3. when discussing something, you must define all of your terms and elaborate on things logically and clearly and gently

asdlkfgjadso;pgihasopghas;logha

there are a few people in my hall that are p***** me off and it's about to exceed my tolerance. they make fun of korean people and purposely in front of me to offend me. they think they're cool and the ***t..they constantly make fun of neone who they see that they think that aren't cool..you can see that these people aren't satisfied with themselves because they make fun of others to make themselves feel better. i'm not one to fight..but ever since this summer my mindset changed and if a fight is neccessary i'm going to fight him or them. they need to learn a lesson, be discipline to respect others and say only good things to people. i pray that God would convict them, and i hope he does because with me if i dont see God working..i'm going to try to fix the problem.

the end of fall 07 semester

the end of fall 07 semester is right around the corner. i'm almost on my way home to seoul, south korea. i can't wait to go, i'm so anxious. it may sound ridiculous, but i'm also anxiously waiting for the next fall semester which is when i'll have a car. i'm excited for my classes in the 08 spring semester. i'm taking Bible 105 old testament and psychology, which i hope i learn a lot in. i'm not excited about math 110. or english 101. I"M ESPECIALLY NOT EXCITED ABOUT COMMUNICATIONS CLASS. I HATE SPEAKING IN FRONT OF A LOT OF PEOPLE I HATE IT. Lord, please help me with that. and yeah, visiting home is going to be great. i want to go back to my high school and just catch up with the people i know there. and my friends that went off to college in my class are coming back, unfortunately not all of them, but some are and that's great. i miss hanging out with them havin fun, chillin, and just doing what friends do best. oh yeah n i miss my mom and she had some kind of surgery on her eyes, so yea i want to see how that turned out.

winter

i get so lazy in the winter from its coldness. i'm so reluctant to go lift weights now and for some reason i feel bad for not lifting weights. im just going to take a week off this week and continue next week. i need a jacket now, especially for the mornings and evenings, that's when's it's really cold. during the day, one can be content with a sweater or a long sleeve shirt. jackets are so expensive, and i can't find ne jackets that i actually like. i dont wnaat to spend a hundred dollars or more on a jacket that i dont like, so i'll suffer throughout the winter looking for a jacket that i'll like if i have to....i like the winter tho...u dont sweat all day while ur walking around. and i like the feeling of walking into a warm room after being out in the cold...

next friday is the starting of thanksgiving break; I'm anxiously waiting for it. i want a break from all of this work and waking up early and getting away from here honestly. i'm going to danville, virginia for thanskgiving break where my american family is. That's going to be really great, just relaxing and enjoying time with them. i think in the future i'll be going to other places for thanksgiving break, because i'll have car next fall semester so i can drive where i want to. i think i'll go to my brother's house first. after we come back to school from thanksgiving break we only have three weeks of school until winter break. and then i'll be going to my home, seoul, south korea, and i'm just excited to be there again and my friends will be there too. and i'll see my mom.

mom

my mom is in seoul, south korea OVER SEAS and she's still trying to control my life. she still talks to me like i'm a CHILD...wat the heck? she makes me really upset. my mom needs to understand who i am now and that i could get things done on my own! i understand where she's coming from though; she doesnt want me to make any mistakes and she just cares about me. So what can i do? i'm going to tell her that she needs to treat me as how old i am. It would be the best for both of us because every time she talks to me like a child, she gets annoyed and i get angry.

procastination

i procastinated the last two weeks on two papers that are due this week in which one today and one tomorrow. if i finished those two papers last week or the week before, i would have enough time to study effictiently for my math test tomorrow and do my english outline. i need to learn from my mistakes. sometimes i procastinate and tell myself that i wont do it again but i still do it. what would help is getting my priorities right. like today i'm doing the right thing and putting aside lifting weights to get my work done.

frustrated with classes

class registration for next semester isn't going smoothly and the way i want it to be. i want to take philosophy with thomas provenzola, but his class is full. i need to take math 110 next semester and the classes with the professors i want to take it with are all full. i asked one of them if they can add me into a class and she said no. which really sucks. i'm anxiously waiting on emails from provenzola and the other math teachers to tell me if they'll add me or not. i hope they do and i prayed. what else can i do now? it's all up to God.

last night

last night, i was walking with two of my friends past the Hill. When we get to the crosswalk to go down the way to DeMoss, someone or a few people behind the bushes on the Hill started to throw eggs at us. my friend and i started to yell at them and we ran up the stairs to find them and fight them; however, when we got there no one was there. my shoes got yulk all over it. my friend got yulk on his hoodie and neck. we were really angry. i hate the fact that people was inconsiderate about other people and didn't have respect.

a little news

my poem, Longing for Her, was published by the company of poetry.com. They read over thousands of poems and they picked mine to put into their poetry book, Immortal Verses. this isn't that great, but it brings to my attention that i have some potential to be professional and stuff. i only write poems to express my heart, so that's pretty cool.

i dont want to waste my life

i dont wnat to realize when i'm sixty that i waste my life
if Christianity is true, i've wasted it.
i can still chane and seek to be close with Him,
but the results seem dim!
Why's it so easy to do wrong than right,
maybe i need to change the focus of my sight,
i wated it tongiht,
i'll never get my wasted days and nights back,
streghtne my belief or faith Lord for taht's what i lack,
the mission of a Christian is to proclaim the Gospel,
then I'm leading people to hell instead of eternal life with the Creator,
I'm basically committing eternal murder,
Lord reveal yourself to me for I'm sinful
and I need to believe by sight,
reaveal to me the decisions and life i must choose for you're the way, truth, and life
i dont wnat to live a life of convenience or mediocrocy,
i dont wnat to have a life of bitterness and resentment.
show me life how it should be,
becase i dont want to waste mine
and lead others to do the same.

two days ago

two days ago, i went to the place i used to work at on campus to give my application for dollar tree to my supervisor so that she can write comments about me on my application. However, this jerk ig uess he's the manager their or someone with high authority asked me how long i worked for them and i replied about 4 weeks and he said that he wouldn't get a reference for that. i left right after he said that. as i was walking away i was thinking aobut the tone of the man's voice and how he looked at me and it seemed like he was putting down my character.
i walked back in and told him i wanted to talk to him and we stepped in his office. i was trying to explain to him why i missed some days of work which is that my rooomates kept me up to about 3 am. and he didn't try to understand that every was black and white with him. ofcourse if i got to get enough sleep i would've made it to work every single day, but due to my circumstances i couldn't and tha'ts why i quit also because i didn't get enough sleep and i was getting sleepy and inattentive in class. still after that explanation, he kept replying you said that you would be here for work and you didnt' so i'm not going to let u get a reference...this is a Christian school and he's a pastor for goodness' sake. where's the freakin' mercy? that guy is messed up and i hope that God convicts him with how he disrespected me...

My Restless Heart

Marijuana satisfied me but only for a short time,
alcohol consoled me but also just for a short time,
thought that sex would complete my lustful hunger but only made me want more,
probalby din't have pacified me ecause it was with a whore,
family makes me happy but i still wnat more,
friends and girlfriends come and go,
joy and peace come and go,
was close with and is saved,
yet, something else than God and sin i do crave,
what is it that my heart seek,
sometimes God, it seems like you are weak,
or the lack of my complete happiness is on my part,
God if you're so omnipotent i bet you to satisfy my restless heart.

my response to the statement

yesterday someone said to me, "You can't handle the truth," after explaining to me what he wants me to know about new world order, symbolisms on the dollar bills, and governmental issues. i was stupid enough just to say that i just wanna stick by what makes sense because to me it doesnt make sense that the u.s. government destroyed it's twin towers and world trade center and slaughtered thousands of it's own people. i dont see any reasoning behind that, but if i was confronted with evidence that validated that, it would be true of course. okay anyway back to the first statement in the first line. NOONE should have the AUDACITY to say that someone can't handle the truth. and if one really that about what he or she is saying when he or she states that, they would take it back. i'm talking bout ultimate truth here, which is God. God wants everyone to believe in Him and to live with Him eternally and have faith in Him as they are here on Earth. If no one can handle the truth, why would God want their life. Anyone can "handle" or come to the truth, for that's what God precisely wants. i think it's arrogant to state something like that and foolish. furthermore, i dont only think, i know. i should've responded immediately with what i'm writing now, but i was just a little upset at how the person can't see his own arrogance.

The Paradoxes

God predestined our lives, yet we have free will,
value life so much, but people still kill,
through faith we are slaves to holiness,
because of our evil world, we are slaves to sinfulness,
darkness blocks the Truth from the heart and mind,
yet, the Light may be too bright it can blind,
we believe what we see,
but we must live by faith and not by sight,
sinners are commanded to live by what's right,
love is a virtue that creates a joyful life,
because of love, the Lamb endured a painful sacrifice,
we desire living right, but we also desire vice,
my life is darker than the color of a raven,
at the same time, wishing to live in the light of Heaven.

addiction

if your addicted to cigarettes, it is a day by day struggle to quit; it's extremely hard and painful to quit. When you're addicting to cigarettes, it's a part of you. You know that it's bad for you and it's immoral, but even though you acknowledge that, you still want to do it. It's similar to sin; we know that sin is wrong, but we still do it. However, one can quit smoking forever, but one can't be totally sinless until Heaven. Everyone that is struggling to quit smoking, i hope that God has mercy and grace on them and helps them quit. Through quitting, that wall will be broken down, and it'll open a door to a better relationship with God.

finding out the differences between you and your close friend(s) is interesting and a little scary. I recognized that i have a big difference from my close friend. it's a little scary, because..it's hard to explain. When you aren't similar to something you are more attracted to it and whenever you're different from something or someone, it's natural to want to shun it or that person. According to what I just said, I should find other friends because i have differences with my current friends. Forget that! I'm a honorable man. It's a universal truth that everyone is different, so what am i even discussing right now. i guess i'm saying that it's a little scary to see the differences between youself and your friends, because you can see how easy you and them can be seperated and what can easily seperate y'all. It only depends on what kind of heart you have which reveals how much you value friendship

Marriage

Marriage should be a pursuit for every person. The thought of God hopefully creating a human to spend the rest of your lfie with and to have a baby is exciting, satisfying, and joyful. People marry for those two reasons: family and growing old with your significant one. I desire these two aspects of marriage. Although, some people marry for some shallow reasons such as security, finances, and sexual pleasure. In the moral way, you should marry because you love that person and that you think and have faith that God has chosen that person for you, NOT fo ryour own benefits. Marriage results in different ways and have its different effects. A happy and God-glorifing marriage would be blessed by God which is the best effects that there can be. Marriage that ends in a tragic divorce can ruin lives; a person in a divorce may become financially unstable after a divorce. A marriage with children that divorce can make the hearts of the children resentful as they get older, unless the divorce was for a good cause like to get away from a abusive, alcoholic father or a irresponsible, drug addict mother.

Drug Use

People use drugs for many reasons. It may be to escape depression or/and stress. It may be to do it because "everyone" else is doing it. People may use drugs because he or she thinks it's cool. A addict would use the drug or drugs he or she is addicted because their body craves for it, and he or she thinks that he or she "needs" it to get by. I smoked marijuana in middle school and throughout high school for many reasons, such as my friends were doing it, older people that i knew were doing it, to escape from the depression, anger, loneliness, and pain of my father's death, to have fun, from being bored(sometimes i thought there was just nothing else to do than that), and for the most significant reasons, which is that I didn't know or even think that there was better things to do in life. Some people may be born into drug use, for example, a terrible neighborhood. Also, a baby born with a drug's chemicals in his or her body. Someone could've been forced to do use drugs such if they were in a gang. Drugs effect us physically of course. The effects on physicality depends on which drug it is. Marijuana has a lot of tar, so it would damage your lung function. Marijuana also lessense a man's masculinity; they get weaker. After a long time of using marijuana, your mind can start to function slower or a lot slower. Marijuana is also a gateway drug, which mean it leads to other drugs and most likely will lead one to more dangerous drugs such as cocain, heroin, and crystal meth. Drug use can not only tear your life a part, but hurt the lives of the people that are close you such as your family and bestfriend(s).

Teen Sex

Teen sex is a habit that has conquered our culture today. Pornography, immoral people, R rated movies, sinful nature, and satan influences teens to fornicate. Some teenagers that have sex may ultimately ruin their lives or teach them a valuable lesson that they could teach to others. Unfortunately, a teenager may have sex and become a sex addict. A teenage female may become pregnant and be left alone, because the father was too young and ignorant to know how to deal with the circumstances a baby caused. However, a teenage female may learn a lot from taking care of a baby on her own, gain immense wisdom, gain inner strength, and teach her child or children the things she has learned from her perseverances.

Rules

A rule is a standard which implies what’s right and wrong. There’s a saying, which is “Rules are meant to be broken.” People just say that to his or herself to give his or herself an excuse to break a rule. According to that saying, God created the Ten Commandments for us to willfully and unashamedly break them; that’s nonsense. God created the Ten Commandments for us to measure ourselves to it, abide by it, so that we can live joyful and righteous lives. I’m writing about this topic, because I break rules everyday in some way. For example, I drive my friend’s car quite often and I don’t have a permit or driver’s license. Rules are bugging me, because some rules seem unnecessary. For example, Virginia State’s law indicates that 18 years olds must hold a permit for 9 months and complete a state-approved driver’s education program to receive a license. This rule that Virginia has established is unnecessary and why don’t they honor International permits or licenses? I had a permit in Korea thinking that I could change it into a license when I go to college. I don’t want to hold my permit for 9 months and do a driver’s education program AGAIN. How am I going to find the time to complete the program while I’m in college? Why didn’t Virginia’s DMV think about the college students that don’t have license, and that has to do the program, work, and go to college at the same time. This rule is unnecessary. They should at least alter that rule to this: Any persons from the age of 18 and older must hold a permit for at least two months to receive a driver’s license. This rule gives every permit holder of the age 18 and older two long months to learn how to drive; two months is a lot of time to learn how to drive, because learning how to drive is easy. Although, God says to be subject to your authorities and there’s no other way I can get a license, so I have to get my permit and hold it for NINE months. May God give me patience with this rule.

Sick

I hate being sick. I was vomiting last night and my diarrhea started last night too and it still hasn't gone away. I hope i'll be back to normal by tomorrow morning, so I can work efficiently at work, and exercise efficiently in the weight room too. I think it was what i ate for dinner at the cafeteria last night. I had a humber and two slices of pizza. They tasted really really good, but wasn't good for me. Kind of similar to sin right? Seems good, but isn't good for us. I asked a nurse at Light Medical on campus what I could eat that wouldn't make it worse, and she told me that i have to go on the BRAT Diet. The BRAT Diet is Bananas, Rice, Apple Sauce, and Toast. I've just been eating bananas, apple sauce, and bread, because I don't have a toaster.

first day

today was my first day of my job; in which i'm a custodian. i have to wake up at 5:30 am to make it to the schilling center at 6 and that's when work starts. I work from 6 am to 8:30 am. The janitor that i work with is Sue, and she's a very nice and sweet lady. She's from Pennsylvania and has three sons. She thought it was interesting that I'm from South Korea and we talked about many things such as the conflict between South Korea and North Korea, school, and a lil' bit about marriage. I cleaned the desks and boards with her help and she swept. I vacuumed the mats near the doors of the Teacher Education Hall. Even though I have to wake up at 5:30 am, I think i'll enjoy this job, especially the paychecks. But what's most important is improving my work ethic and meeting and building relationships with more people.

Crossroads

I want a relationship with You, but I also don't,
Prone to live by sin, so it's hard to live by You,
either a lifestyle of lies or living by the Truth,
worldly happiness seems so good, but I know You are better,
many other philosphies or religions seems like they're true,
although you are the best and ultimate,
nothing overshadows You,
Ultimately, I must make my decision,
living for me, which is sexual pleasure, glory, depression, and emptiness,
or Your road, which is Truth, Love, Wisdom, and eternal happiness.

Longing for her

How long do I have to wait for "her,"
Why is it so hard to find "her,"
Circumstances are making me lose hope,
fidning temporal satisfaction in sin to cope,
with the depression and pain from the absence of love,
not concerned with sexual pleasure but only blessings from above,
fearing that God has no one for me,
only tears apart my heart badly,
I need "her" to pacify my heart and mind,
Lord, help me to fathom that these things just take time.

what a wonderful...

i dont know the name of the song that's going through my mind, but it is by Jeremy Camp. The chorus is really moving and it goes like this, "What a wonderful maker, what a wonderful Savior, how majestic your whispers, and how humble your love, with the strength like no other, and i dont know the rest." "What a wonderful maker" interest me, because He is that. I forgot i think half of what I learned in GNED or Evangelism, which is that our world is so precise there must be a Creator. For example, the Earth and Sun is in its precise place so that something doesn't happen i forgot that part..haha...Although, my Bible teacher in 12th grade told me that there's a spider that does back flips all the way down to a waterfall and goes all the way down to the bottom and lays eggs and goes back on top of the waterfall to do the same process all over again. My teacher's argument was that there must be a Creator to have a spider to do something that random and mysterious. It makes sense and it's true.

what's goin on

i just took two tests that i studied for really hard and i think and hope i aced them. im so glad tests are over for another short period of time so i can just do homework and relax a little. i started going back to the gym and eating protein bars. That's been really fun and good. Well, i'm going to be a custodian working on campus. Sounds good that im getting a job, right? However, this job is from 6 am to 8:30 am. God is going to have to get me strength to get through this. I usually wake up at 730 to relax and study a little and eat breakfast. Now i have to wake up at 530 am and go right to my job with maybe a little snack like peanut butter crackers; that's not breakfast, but it's something.

I've been getting so caught up in doing my homework and studying for tests, I can't even have time to sit down and actually perceive the material of my classes so that i can take it to heart and apply it to my life. I really despise this fact. I want to be able to do something with this material not just cram it in to my mind ace a test and then forget about it. But when i think about it i actually do have time, i'm just not using it wisely. Instead of listening to music for an hour i could really learn my class notes. the weekends go by so fast, it's ridiculous. It's already sunday. I gotta make the best of today as i can. be as productive as i can be and efficient as i can be. gonna go sleep now. peace

My XX-Girlfriend

Her name is Shaina Naomi Escribano. The love of my life. We were together for 11 months and then i screwed it up. And we dated for another 2 months and i screwed it up again. She's very sweet, kind, forgiving, LOVING, humourous, and smart. I used to think that i was going to spend the rest of my life with her. I wish that we dated our last two years of high school than our first two years of high school, because i was a very immature and ignorant boy my first two years of high school. But i think if i was measured to what i knew then, i was a good boyfriend. But now that i look back on how i treated Shaina and our relationship, I realize how immature and ignorant I was, because i'm more mature and wiser now. Our first kiss was on her birthday. I loved hugging her and holding her hand, i think she loved doing the same thing to me too. I don't understand why i dont have a girlfriend, i know that i'm a lot better than some of these guys at our school that i know how to treat girl, but somethings just dont happen when you want them to. God works in mysterious ways. I can't fathom Him. He has a plan and all i can do is just live my life and let His plan go into its order. I fear not being a husband and father. That would really hurt me if God won't let me have those precious opportunites in this one and only life that i have on Earth.

Money

I hate money. Money is so powerful. Unfortunately, our selfishness is taken advantage by money. Some women marry men just because they have a lot of money and that disgust me. Some people take lives for money. Money doesn't only have a negative connotation to it though. Money is given to poverty, money is used to provide missionaries to spread the Word of God in foreign countries. Loans and Grants are given to students who can't afford to go to college to receive higher education. I wonder how many professors at our school can honestly admit that they are professors to serve God and not for the money. I also wonder why it cost so much money for higher education. Wisdom and knowledge should be free....

Social Life

having a social life is extremely important in life. I wouldn't be who I am today if I didn't have a social life with my group of friends. Im not boasting that i have a good social life or anything like that, it's just that i'm glad that i hung out with the people that i did growing up because it was awesome and i learend a lot. there are advantages of a social life, first of all, you will have another source of joy in your life, second, you'll learn more about life and how to treat others, and lastly, you can see how God is creative in his Creation. The advantages of a social life consist of more than three things. There are no disadvantages of a social life. Although, there are no disadvantages of a social life, but it does have its consequences. For example, a student must be able to balance his or her day between socializing, academics, exercise, and many other things. If socializing is the biggest part of a student's day, he or she won't have enough time to do his or her homework efficiently or to study properly. I'm sure every once in awhile for some students or all the time for some students that they socialize more than they're supposed to and have to cram information in their head for a test the next day. Being a great friend is better than being a great student, but we also have to know our limits. And if our friends lived by that same truth, we wouldn't have to worry about cramming for tests because all of us would know that we are being great friends in giving each other time to do homework.

Facebook

Facebook is a great system of communication. There are many other things you can do on facebook such as post your pictures, videos, songs, and music videos. I dont do all of those extra things, I just like to talk to people and stuff. I didn't like facebook when I first started to use it. I guess because I wasn't used to it and maybe everyone felt that same way. I started to like it after awhile and especially when i found out there's like hundreds of beatiful girls on facebook. You can join different groups on facebook like if your friends created a group. I think sometimes facebook is a little unorganized or it's just me. When i created my facebook account, it says that I'm in Liberty '10's network, but i dont know how that happened because i'm graduating in 2011. Facebook has been advantageous for me, because i can keep in touch with my friends that across the world and across the country.

Dating

Dating can be stressful sometimes especially when the couple's differences conflict with each other. For example, my ex-girlfriend didn't want to see me as much as I wanted to see her; this relationship only lasted for about a month, because we didn't spend that much time with each other. We said in class that that are rules in a relationship such as you can't cheat. I disagree on that kind of term or label. There aren't any rules for couples to follow such as "You shall not cheat," but the couple should already have that in their hearts and to not do that willfully and not be bounded by a rule but by their love for their significant one. Dating can also be life-changing. Every time that I had a girlfriend, I would make her the center of my world. I would want to be able to talk to her every day and she would always be on my mind. I turned down a job once for which was for only a weekend for i think 50-100 dollars to spend the weekend with my girlfriend in which we didn't even hang out on. I shortened my study times too. dating sucks

I hate it when u study really hard for a quiz and you show up to class ready for it and the teacher decides to rescind the quiz. It feels good for a friend to call you to say happy birthday, people in your hall say to you happy birthday, and to have friends leave you comments that say happy birthday to you on facebook. Today's convocation was really cool. I always wondered who was "LaHaye" because i saw that name on the front of the student center and ice center. Now, i know that those two facilities are named after him because he gave it to Liberty University, which is really generous of him and it glorifies God. It glorifies God, because it shows how generous Christians are and how Christians want to do the best things for their brothers and sisters in Christ. Anyway, I'm reading Songs of Solomon right now. I'm reading it, because it's about love and that's what i desire right now and for the rest of my life. So, i need to know what the book of the truth says about love, so that i find the love that God wants for me. If, there's one for me....

9/10/2007

a year or two ago, i didn't think i would spend my 18th birthday at Liberty University. In one hour, and two minutes from now i'll be eighteen years old. I feel like i'm older than eighteen though. Fortunately, I lived to be this old but my father can't call me and say to me, "Happy Birthday Son." There something about me and my birthdays and that's that i dont ever want anything. Well, this started to happen when i was in 10th or 11th grade, but before that i always wanted video game systesms, money, and clothes. I dont know why I dont ever want anything anymore. Maybe God is telling me there REALLY IS NOTHING in this world that can satisfy me. God, thank you for letting me live to be 18 years old. thank you for all of yours blessings, for your love, and your goodness. I pray that you bless me with something for my birthday tomorrow and I pray that I'll be satisfied for what ever the blessing, gift, or present is. Thank you for everything. I pray in Jesus' glorious name, Amen.

.......

It's Sunday afternoon and i just got done studying for a my clst quiz tomorrow. i have this blog and one more to do later today and to be on track with the class. I also have to study for a GNED quiz tomorrow. I have a math test and clst test later this week. I think i would be more motivated to study right now if i wasn't so hungry. I only ate once today and it barely filled my stomach; i have about ten french fries and 5 buffalo wings. I dont really want to talk about anything deep or meaningful right now because i'm lazy. Both of my roommates sleep on the top bunk and one of them fell off while he was sleeping and hit my laptop and now my screen has some cracks in it. They are internal cracks though and my laptop is operating perfectly, so i'm alright. I'm just glad that my roommates is okay, although he says that his ribs are bothering him and he has a bruise on his ribs. Anyway, i gotta go study now.

Home

The best thing about Korea for me is is that all of the relationships i had there. I had a lot of friends but the amount of friends isn't what i value. I had a close group of friends that i always hung out with. I knew some of them for abut 5-6 years and i knew some of the others for about 4 years. So you can see that my friends and I were pretty close. I can recall in middle school when we used to go on top of buildings and light up bottle rockets, we used to through eggs at a booth of a security guard, and we always hung out late at the movie theatre or anywhere just being good friends with eachother. I can recall when some of my friends were there for me when my father passed away when we were in 9th grade. We used to shoplift together, get in trouble together. Growing up with my friends throughout high school taught me a lot. You know what they say, "You live to learn." And then you use what you learn and apply to your life. One of my friends told me this quote and this is it: A good friend would bail you out of jail, but a best friend would be in there with you saying, "man, we're screwed."

If

If I had a car, I probably would've gone to my relatives' house this weekend.
If I had a girlfriend, I probably would be with her right now and not doing this blog.
If I was taller, I probably would have a girlfriend.
If I could still play basketball, I would probably be playing tonight after I hang out with my girlfriend.
If I was in Korea, I would be sleeping right now.
If I went to a secular college, I would be falling into temptations from left to right.
If I didn't get saved, I wouldn't be at Liberty University.
i dont know why i'm doing a blog like this right now. Anyway, i'm feeling sleepy. It's weird, because I got a good 8 hours of sleep and that usually keeps me fully awake, but I guess i needed to sleep more.

My decision

I've decided to take on Clayton King's challenge, which is to stay single for the rest of the school year. This process is going to take a lot of discipline, because I'm taking on this challenge but at the same time I "want" a girlfriend. One thing I learned in school and in my life is that there's a big difference between "wants" and "needs." I need food, clothing, shelter, love, and wisdom. I don't "need" a girlfriend to live my life, but I immensely and extremely "want" her. So, wants are things that you dont need to have to live your life. If people learn this, it'll help them out a lot. This is one reason why I stopped buying and playing video games, because I dont need to do it and after I stopped, I didn't even want to play them. It started my junior year when I noticed that the only things that I needed in my life was love, food, clothing, and shelter...not smoking, drinking, fornication, video games, an expensive cell phone, and an expensive mp3 player. Like I said before, God hasn't brought a few girls into my life where i could start a friendship with them since I've been at Liberty, so maybe this challenge is neccessary for me. Maybe God's trying to teach me something through this. And I'm not joking about this, not having a girlfriend at this point in my life can be considered as a tribulation. Maybe God is trying to tell me that there's some things I need to discover about myself to help me be who I am when I'm with my girlfriend/wife.

Some things I'm Learning

Today in GNED class, we watched a video on a man discussing what a worldview is, nihilism, theocentric, anthropocentric, syncretism, and contradictions of beliefs and morals. All of these topics were interesting to me, but what got me going was when the man discussed syncretism. Syncretism is the indiscriminant blending of concepts and ideas from opposing systems. I think this term may apply to a lot of people, but it definitely applies to me. I believe that God is a loving God, but sometimes when i'm feeling sad, down, or callous, i start to believe that God is unjust and harmful; that's a straight-up contradiction. The Bible says that women shouldn't have high position jobs in the Church such as a pastor, but i believe that they could, i mean why not? If they love the Lord and want to serve Him in that way to minister to His people, and if it's God's will it would happen. Why does God let women be Pastors, if in His word, He abolishes it. There are a few more contradictions within me, but its to personal to blog about. I think we have blends of what we believe is true and of other things because, we want to live by the Truth, but at the same time our sinful nature influences us to live by worldly pleasures. We, then start to believe in the Truth and what the world is telling us is right and then it just makes your life a very difficult!

YES! It's the weekend

finally, it's the weekend! it's going to feel so good sleeping in tomorrow. I'm going to have a busy day today. I'm going to the mall after my last class to sell my Kobe Bryant autographed cards, i'm going to buy some shoes, and give my friend some money because he's spent a lot of money on gas partially for me. And after that i'll probably just hang out a little bit, blog again, and go watch a movie. I'm excited about watching B.J. Harris tonight; it's going to be really cool.
Saturday, is Liberty's second football game this year. I hope it will be a closer game than last time, because close scoring game are always the most intense and enjoyable games. I despise watching games when one team just totally blows out the other team; it's tedious to me. This weekend, I will also do all of my homework, catch up on my blogs, and study hard.

Mesmerize

I started to play basketball when I was about 8 years old. I played for almost 9 years of basketball. I miss going to the gym on a daily basis and play basketball for three hours or more with my friends and other people that played at the gym. That time period is what my friend, Chung, and I call it the "good, old days." I miss playing at my high school. I played JV basketball at my public school, but when I transferred to a division 2 private school that position changed. I became the starting point guard for the varsity team and I had a lot of playing time. My junior year was the best year of my life for the sake of my basketball experience. I miss hearing my friends and teachers cheering us on. Being a leader of a basketball team was so great; I loved being the piont-guard and co-captain of my team. I had a lot of fun playing at my Christian high school. I learned a lot, because during the season God discipline me by spraining my ankles. And through that discipline, he told me to stop sinning and doing certain things. God let me tear my ACL and have knee surgery. I was so excited and ready to try to walk on the varsity basketball team at Liberty University, but I guess God had other plans for me. Things are turning out okay even though I can't play basketball, so i'm just hoping my life will become better throughout the school year.

how my day is so far

I'm very tired today and because i'm sleepy, i can't think critically in class or concentrate. It's my fault that i'm this tired tho. After english class on tuesday, i looked on blackboard and saw that there wasn't a homework assignment due next class, so I assumed that there was no homework. However, when i checked blackboard last night, I saw that we had a homework assignment so i stayed up to about 12:30 am doing that assignment. If i fell asleep then, i would be more energetic today. I stayed up to 2 am just thinking and rolling around, I just couldn't go to sleep.
I thought about a girl that I kind of or more like barely know, but she's so pretty. I thought of how I could get a chance to talk to her person, but I've seen her only twice since school started; I see her like once every blue moon! Anyway, the funny thing is i was thinking about staying single for the rest of the school year, but that changed when i saw that girl again at the Rot. I know that you shouldn't base decisions only on feelings, but feelings do have a big part in what you do. I dont know what i'm saying or going into, but i really want to talk to this girl or in fact i need to talk to her.

God has been answering my prayers. I've been praying and asking others to pray for me to wake up early enough to make it to class. I don't only wake up early enough for class but i also wake up to eat and then go to class. I'm happy about waking up in time for class, because I get really upset when I miss a class due to my desire to go to class and learn.
Today, i'm going to go to GNED class and hopefully learn a lot. I hope that i can pay attention and understand everything that Professor Weider teaches us. i really like this class because i already got a blend of it in high school. I'm really happy that my Bible and Philosophy teacher in high school prepared me with knowledge and logic to understand and keep up in GNED class.
After both of my classes today, i'm going to go eat and then work out. After I workout I'm going to go do some homework and then hang out with my friend.

My Response to Clayton King on what his message was on tuesday night

Clayton King discussed many things on tuesday night, but at the end of the service he challenged all of the students there to commit to be single until May of 2008, the end of the school year. I expressed already in one of my previous blogs that i intensely want a girlfriend. I'm looking for the one that i could spend the rest of my life with; the next girlfriend that i have, i want her to be my wife. I'm debating on accepting this challenge for many reasons. Firstly, I could focus more on doing what I want to do. Secondly, I won't be pressured and always concerned about having a girlfriend. Lastly, I'll have more time to discover who I am and try to right my flaws through God's will. The three reasons I have to not have a girlfriend are really reasonable, but it's hard, because i know that i'm ready to start and engage in a serious relationship. It's also hard, because i just desire to be with a girl to hold hands with, talk on the phone with, to walk around with, to buy food and other stuff for, to take care of, and to LOVE. Father God, as I have this on my heart and mind, show me the path you want me to take this school year, make sure that i'm content and in serenity with whatever happens this school year, and i just ask that your will will be done in my life.

I wish...

I wish i could have one more day with my dad. I would just tell him how much i love him and appreciate him and tell him that i'm sorry for doing some things.
i wish i could still play basketball with a strong knee. If I never tore my ACL and had knee surgery in the beginning of my senior year, i would've done extremely well my senior year and gained more skill. Honestly, i think i could've walked on to Liberty's bball team.
sometimes i wish that God wouldn't make our lives complicated, but discipline and tribulations are passable. They are passable because if God never disciplines us, we would not learn anything. Through tribulations, we gain wisdom and recognize that God is omnipotent, we can't control our lives, and that we NEED Him. It's baffling to me how we make all of our decisions, but at the same time, God is in control of everything. He sees that we can't make things right, so why doesn't he do it?...and while nothing right happens it seems like God isn't there and it's up to us to live our lives our own way...i dont know

My prioritization

Since junior high, my prioritization was friends before sleep. I've been hanging out alot lately and really late too. When I get back into my dorm after I hang out i still stay up and do other things. The reason why i'm concerned about my prioritization is that I miss one of my favorite classes yesterday morning, Contemporary Issues. I love that class, because the whole time the professor is teaching you something significant, especially in our world today. I woke up twenty-five minutes after the class started and it just bummed me out. I was concerned also that it was my first unexcused absence, however, one of my classmates told me the professor didn't take attendance. Even though i'm happy about my professor not taking attendance, i'm still upset that I missed out on a lot of good discussions and a chance to learn something practical and self-helping. I'm going to do my best now to sleep before midnight. All i have to do is tell my friend that i need to wake up on time for class and he would understand, because he is my friend and that's what friends do.

I'm Totally Consumed by the Spirit of the Age

I can see how the philosophy of our world today effected me sadly. Existentialism has corrupted my mind and heart. Existentialism is basically being your own god, creating your own reality and truth, creating your own morals, and doing what's convenient to you. If that definition isn't exhaustive enough then I'll make an example. It's a universal truth that murder is wrong, but when some has the philosophy of existentialism they forget that truth and make their own truth. One could be really angry, depressed, or insane and forget that universal truth and do what they feel like doing at that moment(doing what's covenient for them) and kill someone. That's existentialism, not abiding by universal truths and doing what's convenient to you at each moment not considering any universal truths. I'm an existentialist everyday from lying, lust, cursing, and many other sins, because I'm too weak to live up to the universal truths and have to abide by something lower which is my truths. Surely, existentialism and materialism too is the Spirit of the Age today. Many of us seek money and only that, believing that that will solve all of our problems and make us happy. However, we shouldn't seek things that our shallow like money, getting high, and all of the other temporal satisfactions. We should seek what is true because what is true will always be true, it's everlasting. And we should live by the truth and not our own truths. If all of us live by our own truths, there would be no hope. Yes, there are good people in this world, but there isn't any impeccable people in this world, so we can't rely on our own truths and desires because we are all sinful, we must live by the ultimate truth of a being that's perfect, God. May God have mercy on all of us, because we have left him at some piont in our lives to live by our own truth and not by Him who is the Ultimate Truth.

The Power of the Mind and Faith

I've been thinking about this title a lot and it's truly amazing and interesting. Our minds are really powerful and impacting. If we have a faith in something and we truly believe something with our mind, we make our own reality. For example, if I have a faith that God is a unjust God and is evil, the reality of my life is going to be based on that because that's what my mind believes. And of course our faith reveals itself in our actions. If I believe that God is evil and unjust, I'll most likely be an immoral person and hate Christians. It's basically the philosophy of the famous philosopher DeCarte(I think that's the correct way to spell his name, but I'm not sure) and his philosophy is "I think therefore, I am." The fact that we can make our own reality is scary, because people that desire to do evil things can unfortunately take advantage of that truth. Faith and our minds are just so powerful. Osama Bin Laden and all of the muslims that fought for him believe that they must kill everyone who isn't a believer of Islam, which is called a jihad. However, we all know that it is WRONG and a SIN if we murder someone. Yet, they believe that doing a jihad is good for their god, so that's why they desire to do it.
The power of faith and the mind is dangerous, so we must know what we are putting into our minds and what we have faith in because if we have those two wrapped in and around the wrong thing, we can do something tragic.

A little some of me right now

I came to Liberty University all the way from Seoul, South Korea to pursue higher education. Higher education is important and is something right to pursue but it always depends on the reason why you want it. I dont value being extremely rich or wealthy. I value love and wisdom. I came to Liberty University, because I feel that God has called me to go to college here and I really think he has because first of all I'm here and things are falling into its place. I met a really cool guy who's become a good friend of mine. I believe that God has brought me here to be friends with him, but I also need to obtain as much wisdom as I can from my classes for my future. I also came to Liberty University seeking a girlfriend and one girl that I can spend the rest of my life with. I'm not one of those men who likes to play around with girls and go from one girl to the next. I'm ready to give my heart one woman for the rest of my life and I hoping to God that I find her soon, because I desire a girlfriend immensely. But I haven't met a lot of girls and I dont know why but God will let it happen when it's the right time. I'm seeing that things are falling into its place, so i'm hopeful that I'll get a girlfriend.

Some truths we can't know;some truths we do know

Why does God break us down and take gifts and lives away from us and make us wait anxiously and in pain and depression for a long time to mold us into what He wants us to be?
Why does God let innocent people die without them meeting his Son, Jesus as their Savior before they die? I dont know what the Bible says about this but hopefully he makes exceptions for those that die without meeting him and that they go to Heaven. It's just baffling how that tragedy occurs, because it seems like God is just letting people go to Hell. And since He's omnipotent he should stop tragedies like that from occuring. However, Satan is in control of this world and that's the valid reason why tragedies like genocides occur and why our world is as sinful as it is today. Yet, He that is in us is greather than who is in the world is what Jesus said. 'Tis true, but we can't overcome Satan just because God lives within us because we are inadequate, weak, and sinful. If a non-Christian or athiest was reading this, he or she should be asking then who will overcome Satan if humanity can't. God tells us the answer in his Word; that Jesus Christ will ultimately conquer this world when he comes again and overcome Satan and give us followers the victory.